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i miss being on twitter so here. it's sorted in reverse order (the first is the newest, the last is the oldest) some of them might have timestamps, but mostly it's by date. if i spam too much, i might make this into a folder with pages for months or something to keep it easier to read

2025-04-03

i just noticed i have a little over 300 hours in marvel rivals now. i checked and i have almost 700 hours in team fortress 2... so if you're not picking this up, i have half the amount of time in rivals now that i have spend in tf2 in my entire life. of course a lot of it is idle time but that's true for both games. still, can you believe it? tf2, a game i have spend a large amount of my childhood to... is actually not even that much when you consider that i already spent so much on rivals... or maybe i just spend way too much time on rivals... i'm so fucking cooked ( ~ 12 pm )
i still have a lot of work going on but i'm doing well i think. very tiring yesterday but today i feel a bit relieved, my extreme push was pretty helpful i think, i can actually breathe today. what felt like a mountain i could never conquer yesterday, today feels like something i can do pretty easily with a lot of margin left. plus i can watch youtube and play games here and there to relax so... yay! ( ~ 12 pm )
i finished the project i was working on for a sample for a company to get a job. they turned me down. i have to say, i was really proud of what i had made and while i can't say it was peak by any means, i can't help but feel a little bit disappointed. but that's just hob hunting for you i guess. not the end of the world, i'm still making decent cash this month from the projects i'm working on so it's fine. just very sad that i didn't get the job, but then again, first one, no way was it going to happen anyway. i did think they wanted someone "beginner" ish so i was hoping i'd get it (considering the thing i made was very much not just "beginner" material) but oh well. moving on! (14:57)
on the plus side my workload is now significantly reduced. i just have two projects left now, as opposed to the 4 from yesterday and they're relatively easier since they're things i'm familiar with. yay! i get some free time to relax, would you believe it? (14:59)
when i'm sad or inspired, i send messages to my old account, it's always nice opening that account up and seeing messages i wrote to myself at some point

2025-04-02

oh my, [i]GOD[/i]. i got back home last night and today has been such a tiring day and it's still just 5 PM and i have more work ahead of me than behind me. i had to spend my whole day working on 4 seperate projects. FOUR. i barely even do one a day usually! one of them is literally a demo i have to give for a fucking job i need. and the others are from a guy who keeps piling more work on me. i mean 3 in a day? are you INSANE? oh my god. i really do appreciate everything he does for me but GODDDD i can't do all this? it's just like... i do something and BOOM more work. i'm not even sure if i can submit that video i need to send FOR A JOB at this rate.
what's really making this bad is that my hard drive is failing me. my editing software and files are saved on that hard drive! so it randomly crashes and i lose progress and everything closes. i CANT EVEN DOWNLOAD AND GET ALL THE FOOTAGE I NEEd. it's taken me like more than an hour of time purely dealing with this bullshit. i swear if my pc was good i would've at least saved 2 hours today and hey maybe even got this shit done! FUCK BEING POOR FUCK CAPITALISM OH MY GOD

2025-03-31

sigh... another month almost over, huh? time really does go by too fast.
it's the last day of my fun little trip. tomorrow will be the drive back. and then after that? work as usual. really hate living under capitalism. i dunno what's stopping me now though, i think im just stressed about my future. but i really do wish i could go back to spending all my time working on art. and exploring whatever interests come my way.
on the plus side, i think i'm feeling much better mentally. hey i even feel like playing video games so... something must be right
on the other hand, the fatalism of reality is catching up to me. i often think about how my parents have gotten old now and will probably not be around in a decade or so. i dont think i ever really thought about that. i have, but it's hard to accept it. i'm scared honestly, i do not want to be alone. but such is life i suppose. still, i want to see them live happily and i wish i could do more to make their lives easier. it's part of what makes me work harder... as hard as i can anyway.

2025-03-30

after my old web/retro nostalgia surge from yesterday, i decided to play a new retro game. this time i ended up picking ff vi, this is amazing because usually i spend 3 days on trying to pick a game and never pick one. i have no idea why i picked this one but i decided to just say fuck it and go with it. if nothing else, i'll go play tony hawks pro skater or something lol
...so i didn't acutally succeed at playing ffvi. turns out there's a lot of different editions of it and i decided im better off playing this on my pc back at home with the pixel remaster and some patches.
i mostly came here to note something else though; a game called kuro no ken and i found a review of it saying it's a "half-gem"... so you mean average...????????? CAN YOU NOT JUST SAY THAT?!

2025-03-29

on my old web shit again, since i'm on a trip, i only have my laptop and having a laptop with arch on it means... ricing! the goal is to make something simple though so nothing too fancy. honestly just wanted to make this update so you can see my funny jacky chan music payer theme
it's a bit crazy how much easier my life is in some ways now that i'm not ony social media anymore. this shit really does get easier when you leave things like that behind. i'm not lonely anymore, i don't feel insecure about myself nearly as much as i used to. sure, i may not be watching things i love with friends, i don't have a group i hang out with everyday, i don't have a lot of things i once thought i wanted but once i stopped being reminded of it, i really did just stop caring.
i've been playing a lot of marvel rivals. honestly love that game so much. genuinely addicted. helps that i got a decent few friends from it too somehow
as i said, i'm on a trip, it's nice. no pc, i just relax and work on system, learn the guitar a little. just vibing really. life is good.

2025-01-15

THE NEW DAREDEVIL TRAILER IS SO GOOD??? oh my god i wasn't expecting it to be good...
working on a new video for gta san andreas and i got into machinima,,, THIS IS SO MUCH FUN but also so so hard since there's bascially no resources LOL
how has it been so long since i listened to porter robinson? oh my god i've been so distracted i forgot porter exists LOL i listened to the unreleased songs and live edits in the background while i was working on this website (i was moving it back to html/css from astro) and i had so much fun... i'm listening to smile :d rn. i love this so much!!! i love porter robinson
it's so funny how people are moving to redpages since tiktok got banned, i tried to make an account on it but i can't bc life hates me.
hhh i'm so annoyed i can't seem to figure out how i want this website to turn out... wish me luck
hello world! this is my microblog (13:48)